13 Sizzling Hot Logical Fallacies
Logical fallacies are like dreams and wishes. Everyone has at least a few. Can’t think of any offhand? Here are a baker’s dozen to get you started.
1. Ignoratio elenchi
The Supreme Court’s failure to apply the doctrine of stare decisis erodes public confidence in the judiciary. Therefore, let’s have sex.
2. Post hoc ergo propter hoc
(confusing correlate with cause)
Every time I watch old sitcoms starring Elizabeth Montgomery as a witch who can make anything happen by wiggling her nose, I experience a desire to engage in human reproductive activity. Therefore, old sitcoms cause human reproduction.
You should be the one to wear the cowboy hat and spurs this time. Therefore, you should be the one to wear the cowboy hat and spurs this time.
4. False dichotomy
Either you regularly fantasize about Elizabeth Montgomery in a nurse outfit or you have never eaten food. Which is it?
5. Missing premises
I think. Therefore, let’s have sex.
6. Argument from ignorance
I did not know that we were in a public auditorium when I role-played Snively Whiplash with you as the damsel in distress. Therefore, it did not happen.
7. Inverse modus podens
(affirming the consequent)
If you get naked, then I get horny. Therefore, if I get horny, you get naked.
8. Inverse modus tollens
(denying the antecedent)
If you are a dog, then you have reproductive organs. Therefore, if you are not a dog, then you have no reproductive organs.
I know someone who has an airline-pilot/sitcom-witch fantasy. Therefore, everybody has an airline-pilot/sitcom-witch fantasy.
(What is true of the whole is true of the parts)
An airplane loaded with naked people can fly unaided. Therefore, naked people can fly unaided.
(what is true of a part is true of the whole)
Reproductive organs are not capable of thought. Therefore, humans are not capable of thought.
(sleight of hand with the meanings of words)
Cats rarely wear a lot of clothing. If anything, they are scantily clad. Elizabeth is a real cool cat.
13. Argument from emotion
I am happy/sad/angry/afraid/discontented/content [Pick one]. Therefore, engaging in human copulatory activity is appropriate at this time.